


One Percent

by qualamity



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Banter, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Oblivious!Harry, kind of, lab tech!Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-20 21:25:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16563419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qualamity/pseuds/qualamity
Summary: Harry doesn't get why people keep choking when he tells them he's moving in with Tom Riddle, his sworn enemy.





	One Percent

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Dorea Potter for betaing.

“Tom and I are moving in together,” Harry mentioned one day on the way to lunch. “So I was thinking that we could work on a new category for the weird artefacts we’ve been seeing instead of just tossing everything into the Hut.” The agency placed dangerous objects they recovered into the Hut, a room deep, deep underground with heavy wards sealing all the cases and the room. 

“What?” Hermione choked out.

Harry glanced at her. “I know, I know, you don’t like going into the Hut because of that incident with the nails and mask, but we really should do something about that mess down there. Besides, don’t you like cleaning and making things neat?” 

“Not that,” Hermione said. 

“You’re not that obsessed with order? Really?” 

“No, Harry, not about that. That’s a reasonable suggestion. But you’re moving in with _Tom_? I had no idea you guys were…you know…together.”

“What do you mean? We’re moving in together because Tom’s sick of living in hotels and I think it’s time for me to stop living in the same place where I work.” It was nice of the agency to give employees rooms, but it also meant being on call all hours of the day since people could just barge in and demand work. Sometimes working with a bunch of people who could pick locks was kind of terrible. Then again, it made being locked out of a car easy to fix.

“Are you sure that’s the right thing to do?” 

“I’m sick of having to walk through that maze to find anything,” Harry said. If he never had to see the creepy Furby again on the way to find another evil gem, it would be lovely. 

“No, Harry, not the Hut. Are you sure you should be moving in with Tom? The two of you aren’t exactly…friends.” 

“No, we hate each other.” 

Hermione looked suddenly relieved. “Yes, you’re planning on moving in with someone you can’t see for five minutes without throwing something at.”

“Yeah. So?”

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay with that?” 

“I don’t really see the problem. Can we get back on point about the Hut now?” 

“Just one more question. When is this happening?” 

“Tomorrow.”

* * *

“So how was your first night with Tom? You don’t look too well.” Hermione asked. 

Harry stared at her with bleary eyes. “My mattress is terrible. It’s lumpy and hard and it smells.” 

“I have a couch in my office you can sleep on if you need a nap.”

Harry yawned. “That’s okay. I got about four hours of sleep after I got into Tom’s bed. His mattress is lovely and soft and his duvet is the most comfortable thing in the world. I can get by with coffee today.” 

Hermione choked. “You slept with Tom?” 

“Well, yeah, he was also in the bed.”

“And he didn’t…kick you out?” 

“Well, no. He was even nice enough to give me a pillow.” 

“Tom Riddle gave you a pillow.” 

“Well, he threw it at my head, but he didn’t take it back when I kept it.” Harry yawned again. “He was really warm this morning, and I didn’t want to get out of bed, so I don’t have coffee with me.” He made puppy dog eyes at Hermione. “Can you please get me coffee?”

“If I don’t have a heart attack from shock,” she muttered.

Harry frowned. Why was she in shock? He was really too tired for this. At least tonight, he would get a full night on Tom’s mattress. 

* * *

“Mr. Potter, I see on your residential forms you recently changed your address,” Severus Snape, Harry’s supervisor, said, looking like he had just bitten into a lemon. But that was how Snape always looked, so Harry wasn’t too concerned. “It is the same address as Mr. Riddle’s.”

“Yes, we’re flatmates.” 

“Are you aware that if your partner works for the agency, you need to file form HF364.5.” 

Harry frowned. He had briefly heard of that form during orientation years ago, but back then he hadn’t had to fill it out. Or maybe he had and he forgot. “What do you mean? My partner is still Hermione.”

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. “Get out, Mr. Potter.” 

Harry fled. 

However, if he had been a little slower, he would have witnessed an exchange between Hermione and Snape. 

“He’s an idiot,” Snape would have said. 

“He’s only relationship-wise oblivious,” Hermione would have responded.

“So the two of them—” Snape would have began.

“Are apparently just flatmates who sleep in the same bed and spend weekends watching movies or going for walks together,” Hermione would have explained.

Snape would have face palmed. 

But Harry fled, so he witnessed none of that.

* * *

Harry went home and slumped on the couch with the blanket, staring at nothing. 

“Long day?” Tom asked beside Harry. 

“The Furby got out of its cage and tried to kill me. I hate possessed objects.” 

Tom sighed and lifted his arm. “Come here.”

Harry curled himself against Tom and rested his head on Tom’s chest. Tom’s arm rested on Harry’s side. “Takeout tonight?” he asked. 

“In a few hours. Go to sleep.” 

Harry smiled to himself and pressed himself closer to Tom. Tom made such a good pillow and he could be strangely nice on the crappy days Harry had at worked. Maybe he was only ninety-five percent a prat. “Everyone keeps choking on air when they find out we live together,” he mentioned sleepily. “I don’t understand why.”

“That’s because you’re an idiot,” Tom said dryly. Never mind, Tom was still one hundred percent a prat. Well, maybe ninety-nine percent.

The next day Harry went to work, the Furby was mysteriously missing, and the only thing Hermione would tell him was that “it had been handled.”

* * *

“Are you and Tom coming to the Christmas party?” Hermione asked one day as they were poking at some blue rock they had found in the Hut but not in any of the reports. And there had been a lot of reports.

“I think this is some kind of battery,” Harry said. “We don’t have any plans so I guess we could.” 

“Tom never comes to the Christmas parties. Diagnostic charm?” She stepped back and drew her wand. 

“He will if I ask him.” Harry readied his wand to shield them. “Ready?” 

“Ready. On three. One, two, three.” She sent the diagnostic spell at the rock and Harry had the shield ready right as the spell hit. The rock exploded, splattering goo across the shield. A shriek sounded, and tiny blue pixies threw themselves at the shield. 

“Not a battery then,” Harry said, staring at the creatures. “They have really big teeth. I think they’re kind of cute.” 

“I doubt Tom would let you keep them as pets,” Hermione said dryly. “So about the Christmas party.” 

“You want to bring these things with you?”

“What? No! You and Tom.” 

“Yes, I’ll ask him to come.” 

“The two of you tend to do a lot of things together.” 

“It’s convenient! You can get more types of food when you eat because there’s someone to share with you. Tom doesn’t drink, so he’s good for apparating us home.”

“So you two don’t hate each other anymore?” 

Harry thought about it. “One percent of the time. He’s a prat the other ninety-nine percent.” 

Tom burst in through the door and blasted the blue pixies out of the way. Harry smiled fondly at the man. “See?” he said to Hermione. “He’s one percent decent.” 

The man smirked. “Well, don’t you two look blue. Why so gloomy?”

“Never mind,” Harry said.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://qualamity.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
